Resilience is not the absence of struggle, but the understanding that struggle and goodness are not mutually exclusive. A moment can hold grief without being emptied of joy; something can be hard without being wholly bad. It is learning to sit with what is real, even when it is uncomfortable, and to return, again and again, to what is still within reach.

There is a particular relief that comes from knowing where you are meant to stand in a day. Not because the day is easy or especially gentle, but because it is known. The constant decision-making quiets. The internal bargaining softens. You are no longer asking yourself, at every turn, what comes next.

Over time, I have come to understand that traditions, too, must gently yield as life demands. Some years we embrace them fully, reveling in every detail. Other years, like the one when I was heavy with Bean and carrying the weight of a long TDY alone, tradition meant nothing more than spreading pumpkin butter on bread and calling it enough. And it was.