This is not the pause at the end of the season, the exhale that comes when everything is over. It is the breath taken while standing in the doorway, hands finally still, before stepping back into the noise and movement of what is to come. It is the quiet recognition that nothing more can be added without asking something back in return, and that continuing to press forward will not necessarily make what follows more meaningful—only more exhausting.

When I first became a military spouse, I thought being supportive meant saying yes to everything. Yes to meal trains. Yes to volunteering. Yes to planning events, hosting gatherings, and filling every gap I saw. It felt like the only way to prove I belonged, the only way to carry my share of the load. But here is the hard truth: that version of “support” was not sustainable. It left me exhausted, resentful, and teetering on the edge of burnout.